"All people living well living different from me. all these things I want but there’s no hope. I am not fit for them. And again, I am alone. it makes me shiver, and I can’t communicate. I feel strangled, I feel dead. Feel this in you, feel this nothingness and fade out again. When it is black and there is no hope, fade out again. Redemption comes from where and why does it not come for me. redemption comes for some and it does not come for me. I can’t see this, can’t see these things that are flying around me, they attack me and I can’t see them. Fade out again. Sing and play, and play guitar, and fade out again. And that’s how I will end, fade out. I was told, immerse your soul in love. I did and I cannot. I can no longer feel."
soliloquy from a future new character, my musician-guy, next novel. The Bends. written while listening to Street Spirit.
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